Miss Ava doing lots of heavy duty thinking!Mommy posing with her Ava.
Ava still can't seem to let go of your card Whitney. She is in love with it!
I can feel it! Good things are coming our way!
I was taking my shower this morning and an old song popped in to my head. I grew up in church. We went ever Sunday morning, Sunday night and every Wednesday night and anything special in between. Church and Gos is where I get my need and love to sing. Well this song came to mind and I just started singing. I couldn't remember all the words and some of the verses got put into the wrong order. See I remember the words as I go along. Wow were the words exactly what I needed today. Yes I have been down a little bit more than normal. It is so hard to believe when you constantly are getting hit back down, when horrible things don't stop. I saw a light yesterday for the first time and I really feel she is going to be okay.
See when you are hurting and are frustrated you question God. That is only our nature. Why would God allow this to happen to innocent little children? Can you imagine the pain God felt when His son was being crusified? His own flesh and blood was being beaten and humiliated in from of millions and yet He knew it was all "part of His plan." It had to happen. The logic was there and God knew what was to lie ahead yet He watched as I watched Ava suffer. The pain is almost unbearable at times. Here is the words to the song. God calmed my heart this morning and I feel truly blessed.
Here are some of the words.
Oh How Marvelous, Oh How wonderful and My song shall ever be,
Oh How wonderful, Oh how marvelous is my Savior's Love for me.
He took my sins and my sorrows, He made them His very own.
He took all the pain to Calvary to suffer and die alone.
Then with the ransom in glory His face I alas shall see.
It will be my theme through the ages, to sing of His love for me.
God works in mysterious ways, doesn't He. I believe He put that song in my head and planted it in my heart. He cares. Which reminds me of another song.
Does Jesus care when my heart is sad, too deeply for merth and song,
As my sad heart aches til it nearly breaks, Is it awe to Him does He see?
Oh Yes he cares I know He cares, His heart is touched with my grief.
When the days are weary the long nights dreary I know my Saviors cares.
Does Jesus care when I've said goodbye to the dearest on earth to me.
As my sad heart aches til it nearly break, Is it awe to Him does He see?
Oh yes He cares, I know He cares. His heart is touched with my grief.
When the days are weary the long nights dreary I know my Savior cares. He cares!
Wow what a powerful song! Songs always help me. "God help me to see the positives and not so much the negatives. My heart is open. I give you myself. Let me do your perfect plan and will. Ava is only ours to borrow we know that she is yours. We promise to love and watch her as long as you allow. Thank you for letting us see that sparkle in her eye and the warmth of her touch once again. Our minds are over oyed with her progress the last few days. She is such an inspiration to me. Thank you for letting us be her Mommy and Daddy. We love and honor you today and always. In Jesus name Amen!"
They are trying to decide what the best way is to get her off the vent. There was some talk this morning of giving her Propofal to sedate her for about 12-24 hours to help with weaning her medicines down just a bit before extubation. (If you have any words of wisdom about this drug please let me know. I love to hear your experiences.) I will admit I am nervous about doing this. She needs to come off the vent but we are concerned that the dose of meds she is on might hurt her respitory once she is breathing on her own. I personally think she would be alright still on the meds and coming off the vent but they are doctors. We will see. So the goal is to get her extubated possibly tomorrow.
Right now she is watching Elmo. (Thanks Stacie, George and Addie for sending this to her. We just receiced it this morning. She loves it!)
Thank you everyone for all the cards and the gifts. Our room here looks so warm and cheery. We find so much comfort in your words and your thoughts.