Thursday, April 24, 2008

Never give up Hope.

I thought I would add a video of our experience with CDH. If you looked at Ava today you would never know she had a fatal birth defect. Of course our constant reminder is her large scar on her tiny belly and her pectus in the middle of her chest. We know how blessed we are to just have her here with us.

As I was walking the girls to school today my mind went back to when I was pregnant with Ava. There was never a second that my mind was not on my unborn baby. The fear and unknown was constantly weighing heavily on my mind. The emotional part was very hard. I tried to stay positive. When negative thoughts entered my mind I prayed for God to calm my spirit. So today I am thinking and praying of all the pregnant mothers that are awaiting their CDH baby. God be with them!

The end of the video has Ava with our new statue called, "Baby in God's Hands."

"Never give up Hope. Miracles still Happen."

I encourage you today to think of all the wonderful miracles God has given you in your life. How easy is it to ponder the bad things but we should also remember the miracles as well!


Wednesday, April 16, 2008


How many people take sleep for granted? I am not one of those. Since Ava has been home from the nicu she has NOT slept a whole night. In fact it was very normal for her to wake anywhere from 4-10 times a night. I would nurse her and then she would quickly fall back to sleep but it sure killed my sleeping patterns.

Well Brian and I moved her to her own room last week. She still would wake but less often. Tuesday night she only woke once. I awoke to a refreshed new person. (Myself) I felt like I came out of a ca coon. Now last night I stayed up pretty late. I couldn't get to sleep. It could have been because Brian was snoring loudly or the fact that Ava was no longer in my room. Call me crazy but I still loved to hear her breathe. So I got little sleep. But when I finally woke up at 6:45am I realized she had not cried all night LONG. I am so shocked.

Finally after 19 and a half months she slept through the night. God is still in the Miracles business. So now I am expecting great things out of this little Sleeping Princess.

The sun is out today here in Iowa and I am going to take Ava on a stroller ride. Maybe after she wakes up for her nap. Yes she is sleeping again.

Perhaps I can become a normal person now that I can SLEEP all night long!

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Ava's Awareness Walk Video

God hears our cries.

Have you ever wondered why things happen the way they do? I believe all things happen in life for a reason. It is definately hard going through hurts and painful tribulations. I have faith and am aware that it all helps you to become the person we were meant to be.

You know with Ava diagnosis of Congenital Diaphragmatic hernia I thought my world was falling apart. Before Ava I lived this life of peacefulness and mondane living. I thought death was living a full life and then passing in your sleep. Nothing prepared me for being told I would soon be having my daughter and expecting her to pass away gently to Heaven all while in my arms.

Even now when I look back on all that we have been through with Ava I still would do it again in a heart beat. How inspiring it was to see this tiny baby pulling and fighting with every ounce of her little being. The stress was almost unbearable. I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have Brian. There were days I felt so helpless. I remember one in particular. I believe it was her second day of life. As I stood there near her bed my arms ached to hold her. I cried lots that day. With all of my soul I wanted to take her from all the tubes, wires and monitors, hold her and tell her everything was going to be all right. I knew this day was coming but it was hard to accept that I could do nothing for her it was all in the hands of the doctors and nurses.

I felt God's presence constantly around Ava. I knew in my heart she was being protected.

The hardest part was to pray, "Not my will, but your's Lord."

I guess what I am trying to say is that being so close to death changes how I live my life. I don't have the answer to why Ava is here with us. It breaks my heart every time I hear of another CDH baby that has gone to be with Jesus. I can't help but imagine the pain the parents feel.

I have found my calling in all this.... Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia. Who else but me and Ava to spread Awareness and HOPE?