Wednesday, February 18, 2009

A Mother's Heart.

"3D anyone?"

Welcome back! I have met so many wonderful, loving, caring Mother's over the Internet. I have formed friendships that are close like sisters. I am so happy to share my feelings with them and they just know from experience exactly what I mean with no questions. Anyway to all of you. I want to say thank you tonight. I see your undying love and faithfulness to your children and sometimes the tears fall for I know your fear, your pain and your frustrations. I live them too. You strive to give your children the best of you and all that the world has to offer them. What wonderful role "Mother's" I have in all of my friends!

So I've had about 5 people "just today" as me how "I" am doing. Well I'm trying to hold my head above water sometimes. Almost 99% of the time I feel a strong sense of fighting this beast but then that 1% sneaks up and sits on my shoulder and nags me to death with the what are next things. It's hard not to think about what "may" come. I do know that God has the ultimate say and I can only BEG for his mercy in Ava's tough times. He holds the future as He does with all of our lives. None of us know whether tomorrow will ever come for us. Please try and live just ONE day as it is your last. You will see things that "seem" important will become invisible.

So with that all said Ava yet again gives me a scare.....and to think all this was past us...okay who just typed that? Not me! She woke at 11pm last night to gagging and trying to throw up. Poor baby. I gave her Tylenol and that helped her for a few hours then she once again got sick. This time she did get this up so I decided to stop her g-tube feeds. She was whinny all night long. She insisted we keep Teletubbies on all night. "Oh dear me, Oh my!" I can't sleep with the TV on so guess who was up? ME! She was up for good at 5:30 so I decided to follow Heidi's advice (one of my Internet friends I spoke of in the first part of my post.) and rig up a make shift g-tube drain. I did it and it worked great. So for about 3 hours we were draining instead of adding feeds. (One small step back.) Then I worried that maybe this was more so I took her and Emeline in to see our local doctor. Dr. Jackson is amazing. I really don't know where I would go without her! So Ava tested negative for Strep and she has NO ear infection. Oh I forgot to mention she gave me NO happy poop dances all day yesterday. So I was really getting nervous this might be surgery problems....possible do I dare say the word.....obstruction?...shhhhh! So we went home with another antibiotic for Emeline and no real thing why Ava was sick other than the fact that she might have caught a bug.

I have her on 10 ml's an hour of Pedialyte through her g-tube. She hasn't thrown up since about 5 pm. Pray fro a good night for us both.

She acted fine today with the exception of three more times of throwing up. Her total output was 225 ml's. Not good I know but we have seen worse. I'm really hoping tonight is much better. She is sleeping well this very ask why am I here typing. Well for all of you of course. I do admit this helps me and the docs too. If I forget what day something happens on I just pop on here and voila here it is! Nice huh?

Good news she finally pooped three times today. You can imagine the happy poopy day I did AND Ava! We hold one hand in the air and shout. "Yeah poopy! We looooove Poopy!" If you've ever been through a bowel problem you know exactly how this dance goes. Also I will admit I need prayers too. This journey has been tough on us all. I always have to be one step of the WHOLE game. And quite frankly I don't want to play anymore but as you might see I have no choice. Brian he does good with it all. He goes to work and takes wonderful care of us. I am honored to have such a fabulous husband. He is my rock. The girls they are good as long as we are all home. They love Ava more than themselves I believe. So keep us all in your prayers. I asked God today to send me another 2 weeks of "low" stress medical care for Ava.

As always here are a few of my favorite pictures of the day.

Ava loves to be read to...Emeline does great with her.

Ava and Po. Believe it or not Brian bought Po before we even had kids. Right when we first got married almost 14 years ago. I still don't know why he just came home one day and had him in his arms. I said, "Okay?" But I'm glad we have him now! See God does know what He is doing even when we are so puzzled.

Po HAS to come too!

"YES all my girls are Miracles. Just to see one so up close is almost like you are watching life and death fight one on one. THAT my friends is the Miracle."

Thanks for taking the time out of your busy life to check on Ava.



Anonymous said...

I will pray that this is just a bug and "it too shall pass". I remember when Samuel got a stomach bug(remember he has a Nissan, so he can't throw up). He just wretched, gagged, and cried all day. I thought he might have reherniated. I was so scared, but I waited it out. We were blessed that it was just one of those 24 hour bugs.
I'm also praying for your other two miracles(Lex and Eme). I hope they feel better soon too.

Much love,

Anonymous said...

If she likes to "read"--a few suggestions: SkippyJon Jones; a cat who thinks he is a chichuaua, and books by Rob Scoffield (I think) called Splat and another about Russell the sheep. All three are cute, and have different titles of all three. Great for reading aloud. My grandson who is 4 loves all of them.
Jean (Sabrina's gma)

Liz and Shane said...

Yay for Poop! I am praying that Ava doesnt throw up. Nayeli hasn't for 4 days now. Crossed fingers.
Ava always makes me smile with her beatiful warm smile.

Lacey said...

One of these times your bound to lose your mind. Of all the stuff you go through. When Jax was in the hospital for 4 months life got so bad at home. My 9 year old was talking about taking his life, and the whole house was falling apart. Its hard to be the rock and the primary caregiver to a medically needy child. It gets tireing after a while. Just find time to go out by yourself or on a date with your hubby. I know its hard to leave your fragile child with a sitter but she will be ok and you need the time out. We learned that quick and now try to have a date at least once a month.

blairspage said...

Your girls are JUST GORGEOUS! I hate that they have been sick off and on. And, I have been praying my heart out that Ava gets to feeling better and stops throwing up!

Big Hugs - Tiff

Fer said...

Oh Terri, she looks so happy in the photos!